Sherlockian top ten

Some funny lists on sherlock holmes.

You wouldn't laugh unless you have read the books.

Top Ten ways to know that the Sherlock Holmes story you're reading was written in the 1990's, not the 1890's...

10. Watson proudly informs us that despite his experience with women spanning 3 continents, he is HIV negative. 

9.  Gregson and Lestrade show up at 221B Baker Street wearing t-shirts     with arrows that point at each other and say "I'm with Stupid". 

8.  Holmes appears on Sally Jesse Raphael and Moriarty is brought out     as ambush guest. 

7.  Holmes turns down an invitation to appear on David Letterman's     show, explaining, "No, Watson does _not_ do Stupid People Tricks". 

6.  Watson describes in detail an arriving client before the door is     opened, to Holmes' astonishment. Watson smugly neglects to tell him      about the surveillance camera and moniter he's had installed. 

5.  Holmes gets a big laugh out of the fact that, although he has     policemen in his home frequently, he has never once been busted on     possession, in spite of keeping his bottle of cocaine out in plain     sight. 

4.  Mrs. Hudson asks why they keep up the pretense of keeping seperate     bedrooms. 

3.  The hansome cab drivers don't speak a word of English. 

2.  Mycroft buys a fittness video. 

1.  Irene Adler is subpeona'd by Kenneth Starr.

Another Misconception Top Ten:
10. Holmes is a fictional character. 
9.  Holmes smoked only a calabash-style pipe and took no other      form of tobacco.
 8.  Holmes snorted cocaine, used morphine and opium, and smoked     marijuana in his pipe until Sigmund Freud cured him of      his drug use. 
7.  Holmes never laughed or smiled. 
6.  Holmes played the violin extremely badly, usually to      irritate Watson. 
5.  Holmes was born in London and lived his entire life at      221-b Baker Street. 4.  Holmes never drank alcoholic beverages. 
3.  Holmes constantly said "The game's afoot" or "Elementary,      my dear Watson." 
2.  Holmes was in love with Irene Adler, and fathered Nero      Wolfe by her. 
1.  Holmes lived an "alternative lifestyle" with Watson.